Today we are going to be talking about three totally avoidable reasons why you’ll fall off track with your plan.
Reason #1: You’re not allowing yourself to fully go there.
I remember when I was very unhappy with my life, I was unhappy in many areas. But I thought if I could just lose some weight, that would be one less area to be unhappy about. So, I would take a stab at different diets, but I would never stay with it. I never had the conviction to see it through because I wasn’t being honest with myself about what exactly I wanted. A big reason for that is because I was a people pleaser. I didn’t even know what I wanted.
I was so confused that I would attach myself to fitness programs or diet program just hoping that it was the fix. I didn’t realize at the time that I needed my very own identity. The problem with doing someone else’s idea of how you should be showing up is that you’re not fully owning all the other areas in your life where you’re unhappy. So, when stuff gets hard you give up and tell yourself stories like “it doesn’t matter anyway.”
But when you know why it matters and how it’s going to impact the rest of your life it’s easier to stay on the program.
I was recently talking about how manifestation really works. I think the problem with people’s perceptions of manifestation is that some gurus have made it seem as if you can just dream up the things you want, and it will happen. That’s not really manifestation.
Real manifestation is giving your brain a clear path or vision of what you want to create so your brain will filter in things that give you proof of your accomplishments instead of showing you that what you’re trying to do isn’t working.
For example, in my business if I’m not loving the results I’m getting, it’s not proof that I don’t get to have what I want. It’s proof that I need to change something to get my desired results. But if my mindset was different when I have setbacks, I’d view them as proof that I suck at business and will never reach my goals.
You need to fully allow yourself to go there and envision the person you want to be and the life you want to have.
Reason #2: You are expecting perfection.
You are you own worst enemy. Really. And here’s the thing that’s tricky about fighting yourself- you know your weaknesses! So, any time you want to bow out, skip a workout, eat something you shouldn’t, drink too much wine, you know the bullshit stories you can tell yourself to allow you to do it.
Right now, we’re watching Breaking Bad in our house. For about the millionth time because it’s my favorite show ever. It’s about two guys that make crystal meth. There’s a sex worker in the show named Wendy who is addicted to meth. So, Wendy will do all sorts of things to get drugs because she has an addiction. It’s really sad to watch because you see how Wendy will do things that a healthy Wendy wouldn’t normally do. I’m bringing this up because we each have a little bit of Wendy in us.
Our inner Wendy knows the stuff that she can tell us to get us to do the things she wants to get her fix. You can imagine that when you’re in your kitchen at 9 pm your brain already knows the stories it can tell you to get you eat or drink something you shouldn’t. What most people try to do is just not think those thoughts. But that doesn’t work. You need to understand your stories and your triggers. Is it a time? A person? A workout? There are a million things it could be. So, there are a million different things your inner Wendy can say to you. You have to know what they are, and you have to have a plan for when Wendy shows up.
You have to know your enemy and you are your own worst enemy.
Reason #3: Ignoring your triggers.
Imagine that every person, every car, every building is covered in a goo. Now, think about your coworker who is a total bitch. The goo on her can leave a residue on you. If you engage with this woman with the awful, terrible, ugly energy, it will stick to you. We often avoid really addressing these specific triggers- your house, your car, your partner, a coworker. Every person and every situation has a goo attached to it.
You want to make sure you identify who has negative goo that can get all over you. Think about dealing with this awful woman at work. You can walk away from her and go home, but three hours later you still have her goo all over you. Her goo is then the reason you give in and make unhealthy choices.
Tomorrow, try out an exercise. Imagine that everything has a goo on it. Look at who you spend your time with and what kind of goo they have. Identify who’s got the bad goo so you can avoid them. Then, find people who have a nice goo that you want more of.
Think about when you spend time with or talk to your best-friend. Afterwards you feel really good! The people, places and things in our life affect us so much. Often, we try to avoid addressing those things because it feels really scary.
I can’t stress enough that you have to inspect all areas of your life and determine if they will be positively or negatively impacting your desires. Ignoring it is not the answer! Acknowledging that your triggers are there with a solution to manage them is the only way you can make radical change and make it last.
If it feels right now like your problems can’t be solved or your negative patterns can’t be stopped, I promise you they can!
When we allow ourselves to fully invest in total transformation, we create a crystal-clear plan for getting there that includes addressing triggers in all areas of our life that need work, and we provide ourselves with the tools to navigate the change, it is doable!
Which of these reasons is the biggest challenge for you? Tell us in the comments!
Don’t forget that the doors to the Bad Bitch Starter Kit are officially open! This is a live program we’ll be doing for ten full weeks together. The Bad Bitch Starter Kit will help you identify your very own version of a Bad Bitch and help you create a custom blueprint to become her. I really believe that identity is not about finding yourself it’s about creating yourself. You can be whoever you want to be! I am not the person I was seven years ago. I started out with a vision that I kept honing until I became this woman and now it’s part of my identity. That’s truly where we want you to be- identifying as a Bad Bitch in your very own unique way that matters to you the most. This program is about creating change that lasts!