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I get asked a lot about why you struggle with motivation. Why you diet hop. Why you can’t stay focused. Why you get discouraged and quit even though it’s something you want. What I love, even though those are sad questions, is that you are all aware that a traditional diet isn’t really what you need.
It got me thinking about what I could share with you, so you understand the thought processes you need to go through in order to make any diet work at all. So, here are the signs I’ve come up with that you’re ready for successful weight loss.
#1 You have other important needs met.
Needs like safety and connection. A couple of weeks ago I talked about what’s really holding you back from true change. You can check it out to learn more about the six human needs that we have. But, for today, I want you to know that if many other things that are important to you are not in place it may be difficult for you to focus on your weight loss journey.
Let’s say you’re unstable in your career, you’re spending a lot of time updating your resume and looking for jobs. Depending on the way you feel and the thoughts you have associated with that experience, it may not be the best time to focus on your weight loss. You may not be getting the important needs of safety and certainty met.
It’s important to acknowledge your thoughts and the subsequent feelings created by those thoughts around the situations we have in our life. If you’re thinking that it is the perfect time to start taking care of yourself a little better because you’ll feel better about yourself in job interviews it might be the right time for you to focus on your weight loss.
Ask yourself what needs you have and what’s getting met and what isn’t.
#2 You’ve gotten honest with yourself about what you want above all else.
It’s so important that we acknowledge we’re always choosing something. Whether we want to believe it or not. If you are going on a weight loss journey and you fall back into old habits, in those moments you were choosing the safety and certainty of former habits.
If, above all else you wanted to lose weight so bad you could taste it, you would be choosing to lean into the uncertainty and be able to withstand the discomfort of your urges and cravings.
If you were fully being honest with yourself about what you wanted above all else, then you would be making choices that are aligned with the highest version of yourself the majority of the time. You’d be making choices that would get you the results of the body that you want. If you want to have a successful weight loss journey, you have to be honest about what you want. If you’re acting in ways that aren’t aligned with that then understand you’re choosing those things in lieu of what you said you really wanted. Be clear on what you want and make decisions from that place.
#3 You’ve taken accountability for your excuses and decided they’re just stories you made up.
It’s really important that we take a look at the stories we tell ourselves that allow us to give in and show up as old versions of ourselves. Stories like, “I just let my emotions get the best of me and I ate the ice cream.” Or, “maybe now isn’t a good time anyway.” Or, “it should be easier than this.” Whatever story you tell yourself, say it out loud right now.
One of mine was FML- Fuck My Life. Every single time something didn’t go perfectly or wasn’t easy to do, I would say, “fuck my life”. That allowed me to feel like I was a victim to my own circumstance. And when we feel like victims, we feel like there’s nothing we can do about it. Which is perfect for the person that doesn’t want to do the things needed to change. So, I was creating my own reality in which I allowed myself to give up all of the time because I chose to believe that my life was cursed, and I had no control over it.
Once I started to realize that what I voiced into the world became my reality, I started to make other decisions about what I wanted to think and what I wanted to have come out of my mouth.
You have to decided that your excuses are stories you made up and that you know you’re going to use them.
Make a list of the excuses that you use so the next time it comes out of your mouth you’ll recognize it as an excuse. Your brain is going to get tripped up and say those things because you’ve said it a million times before. That’s okay. The first step is awareness. Watch how many times you bring up the excuse. When you do, catch yourself and come up with something that you want to believe instead.
What is your alternative thought? Mine is, “I create my reality” instead of “FML”. I want to live in a world in which I am powerful, get shit done, am efficient, resilient and have tenacity and grit. I choose to think those things and guess what? That’s my reality.
#4 You have allowed yourself to envision what is possible.
So often I see women not being clear about what they want. They know what they don’t want. It’s what they currently have. But they haven’t taken the time yet to figure out the opposite of what they don’t want. The more specific you can be, the more your mind will see it as reality.
Some women don’t allow themselves to go there because it feels painful that they want something that’s different than what they have. If they acknowledge it and don’t know how to take action it doesn’t feel good. They don’t allow themselves to dream because they don’t believe they can have it. You have to believe wholeheartedly that you can have it.
You must willing to accept that everything you think you are lacking can be taught.
The only reason you can’t have what you want is because you don’t have the information yet. I can’t tell you how many times people have said to me, “I wish I had ______ like you” or “I wish I could do ________ like you”. Not just about me, but about other people. As if we are all fixed. And that is bullshit.
Whatever you are currently lacking can be taught. If you choose to believe otherwise it is a fixed mindset.
You must take personal responsibility in knowing that if you’re not happy with where you’re at right now there’s information out there that can help you be better, happier and achieve your goals. By denying that, you’re denying the person you are meant to be.
If you’re craving a different life and telling yourself that you can’t have it and you choose not to take action it’s like giving yourself the middle finger. If you don’t have the knowledge or resources available to you to get what you want, seek them out.
#5 You’ve thought through the consequences of not changing.
You’ve determined that the fear of change is less than the fear of staying the same. This is another one that we often don’t take time to do because it’s not fun or sexy. We get ourselves into pickles where we make choices to plug through life certain ways. We know deep down that what we’re doing isn’t going to lead us to what we want. However, in the same way we don’t allow ourselves to fully dream about what we want because it’s painful we don’t allow ourselves to see the consequence of not changing.
Let’s say you’ve gained 15 pounds a year for the last three years. It would be safe to say that two years from now you’ll be thirty pounds heavier than you are right now. It’s also likely that you’ll be hurting more, feeling more unhappy and be more tired. When you map it out and see what will likely happen if you keep doing x, y and z, it’s really hard to deny that it is so much scarier than changing.
Do the work of actually putting it down on a piece of paper. Maybe try writing a letter to yourself and tell yourself what your life is like five years from now if nothing changes. If that is not scary enough to get your booty into action, I don’t know what is! Snapping ourselves back into the reality and getting out of autopilot may be the exact thing that you need to begin a successful weight loss journey.
Are you ready to get started? Let me know in the comments!
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