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Today we’re going to be talking about setting and achieving your goals. Prior to being this person who I am today I was obese, I was addicted to prescription pain killers, I drank too much, and I was in a very unhappy marriage. I didn’t dream about anything because I didn’t believe that what I wanted was possible. I wouldn’t allow my brain to go there because it felt really painful to think about what I wanted but didn’t think I could achieve.
I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was actually creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. Because I wasn’t allowing myself to dream about what I wanted or give myself permission to want those things, my brain didn’t have a direction. That’s required in order to sustain the level of motivation, passion, and excitement you need to achieve your goals. I was set up for failure from the beginning. You may be feeling this way too.
If you feel like you keep setting goals, but you aren’t able to achieve them, then this five-step IMAGE system will help you out. It’s my proprietary system created to help you transform from where you are now to where you want to be and, even more importantly, sustain it. Essentially what it does is close the gap between how you’re showing up and how you want to be showing up. It will help you create the habits, thoughts, feelings, and actions of the person you want to be so you can become that person.
Illuminate means to get clear on what you want. This may sound shocking, but a lot of people don’t know what they want. They just know what they don’t want. That’s a good place to start. Create a list of all of the things in your life that you’re unhappy with. Then ask yourself what is the opposite of those things? That might be exactly what you want.
I say this all of the time and it offends people, but the truth sometimes hurts.
People don’t do anything unless they’re getting something out of it.
People are innately selfish. You may be thinking that you’re a people pleaser and never do anything for yourself. That may be true. I’m a recovering people pleaser. It’s important to know that as a people pleaser what you want is to make other people happy. You do things to get the result that you want- make other people happy.
You can use this information to get really clear on what you are getting out of doing the thing you want to do. I don’t know how many times I talk with women who tell me they want something but can’t tell me exactly why they want it. That’s why it’s really hard to sustain motivation. Your brain isn’t understanding the benefits of what you’re doing.
You want to ask yourself, “how is my life going to be different once I have these things?” And if that isn’t exciting enough to make you want to do it then you need to start over and figure out what you want before moving on.
We want to point your brain in the right direction. You need to tell your brain what to look for. Have you ever dated someone and knew there wasn’t something right about the relationship, but you chose not to see it because you focused on all of the great things? And then your girlfriend meets him and says there’s something she doesn’t like about him. Initially, you act shocked by it but inside you know she’s seeing the same thing that you chose not to see.
This is the perfect example of what we do when we feel discouraged with weight loss. You may be making a lot of the right decisions, but your brain is focusing on all of the wrong things you’re doing or all of the results you’re not getting. It’s forgetting or not even looking for all of the ways you are actually achieving your goal.
At this point you have one or two goals you want to work on. You’re really clear why you want it and how your life is going to be different once you achieve it. But you might start to feel a bit overwhelmed about all of the things that need to happen in order for this to become a reality.
At this point, chunk everything down. If your goal is to lose 100 pounds in a year, then divide 100 pounds by 12 months to create your monthly goal. You can divide it again into weeks and then you have your weekly goal. It feels more manageable that way because you’ve taken something really big and focused in on it.
Once you know your goal and what you’re aiming to achieve, you need to ask yourself how you’re going to elevate your standards. How are you going to make it happen? If you want to lose 100 pounds in a year and you’ve broken it down into your monthly and weekly goals, ask yourself what you need to do to lose X number of pounds this week.
If you don’t meet your goal a particular week, that’s ok.
Understand that life isn’t always going to happen exactly as you plan with no obstacles at all.
Use the weekly goals to give yourself a tempo and see if you are staying on target. You’ll have times where you fall a little off track and will need to tighten it up again. That’s what’s required to become the woman you want to be.